Yesterday, I had one of those bang your head on the wall type of liturgical services, and it was all my fault. So, I invite you to laugh with me. The thumping sound you hear is me trying to find the personal humor in the situation.
The Greek Orthodox celebrate a liturgical services called Salutations on the Fridays of Lent. There are several liturgical preparations that one needs to make. As it turns out, the head priest had to go to Archdiocesan headquarters for a committee meeting then was delayed by traffic upon his return. The assistant priest had an unexpected member death in another city and had to go there to be present at the funeral home. So, I was asked to lead the Salutations that night, which I have done only a couple of times before.
I thought I was ready. I really did. Sigh, so much for self-delusion.
Salutations is supposed to be led with blue vestments. Since this was Lent, I put on purple vestments. I knew it was supposed to be blue vestments. I really did. But, my mind burped. As it turned out, the head priest was able to make it back just as we were starting and put on his vestments. A retired priest was also present, looked at us, and put on purple vestments. About 10 minutes into the service, the head priest suddenly realized that we had the wrong color on. So, while the chanter was reading a couple of long Psalms, we three slipped to the back and quickly put on our blue vestments.
I thought it was all done. Nope, it was not. A few minutes later, one of the older men of the congregation slipped quietly into the sanctuary area and motioned to me. He asked about the icon of the Virgin Mary. It is supposed to be center front during the Salutations. It was not. I had forgotten to move it to its spot. So, one of the men from the congregation quickly took care of that, of course in full public view.
So, I thought it was all done. Not so, padewan! During Salutations, there is a section called the 9th Ode. The entire church is supposed to be censed during that time. The head priest turns to me and asked me to do it. My mind blanked and I had to ask him what he meant. I am so glad that I am retired because I know that I saw the 30-some year old priest looking at me with a certain degree of compassion as he quietly explained what I needed to do. I am sure that he is convinced that he now needs to treat the old man with a certain degree of gentleness, compassion, and watchfulness. I proceeded to cense the church.
Lent is a time to humble yourself. Lent is a time to learn again that you are not God’s gift to humanity. I guess I needed a little help with that this past Friday.
This is one of the funniest stories I’ve read. Here’s the irony of it all, I didn’t realize that I knew the author, Fr. Ernesto, until I completed the article. My fellow doctoral candidate had me in stitches.