On expecting the unexpected

One of the things about living in the South is that it has a different cultural approach to how one presents oneself. There is more of an emphasis here on what most people would call an “Aw Shucks” approach among many, but not all, down here. While it is true that in the big cities one can find the “northern” type-A personalities, there is a distinct emphasis in this culture that when you are off of work (and often at work), you present yourself to the world in a soft-speaking polite (yes sir, yes ma’am) manner. Relaxed walking and soft thoughtful speaking are the order of the day. Any male of any class level gets into blue jeans for the weekend, and relaxes over some type of entertainment (ROLL TIDE, DOWN GATORS). Ladies split, some are blue jean types and some are not, but they relax as well. There is a cultural pressure to not present yourself as too special, but to just be “folk.”

Now, Father Orthoduck is not arguing in any way that the South is perfect. There are some significant problems in the South, but this post is not about the problems, but about the tendency to misjudge people. You see, because of the way that Southeners present themselves, it is easy to assume that the soft-talking, polite person in blue jeans to whom you are talking is simply a nice polite working person who surely works in some company or other and is a good worker. But, you may actually be talking to the president of that company, who has a master’s from Vanderbilt or Emory or the University of Alabama (ROLL TIDE) or, sigh, even Auburn University. If it is the weekend, why that person is simply relaxing.

Just the other day, this nice, polite, young, African-American lady came to ask Father Orthoduck some career advice. She works as a medical technologist in a local hospital, so Father Orthoduck knew that she must have her bachelor’s degree, but he assumed not her master’s yet. So, he advised her to get her master’s. She said she already had her master’s but was debating between a Ph.D or a D.Sci. So, we talked about that. But, because of her polite “shy” cultural way of speaking to an elder (ok, ok, old fart), Father Orthoduck had assumed what was not accurate. Fortunately, it was a minor faux pas. But, it reminded Father Orthoduck again to ask a few more questions before speaking.

But today Father Orthoduck finds himself thinking that this is a good and painless lesson. It is a lesson to remind him not to “judge a book by its cover” but rather to make sure to get to know someone, without assumptions, and to wait and “learn” the person before reaching conclusions. This time it was a harmless faux pas. But, if Father Orthoduck is not careful, someday it could be a much more damaging (to Father Orthoduck) mistake. The same is true for you.