From Pithless Thoughts:
Do you fast?
Let the ears by not listening to evil talk and gossip.
For what good is it if we abstain from birds and fishes,
but bite and devour our brothers and sisters? (St. John Chrysostom).
When my wife and I were married less than five years, we were asked to go to Port Huron, Michigan, where there was a small congregation that was also a covenant community. They were affiliated with what was then one of the leading examples of intentional community in the USA, the Word of God Community. We both learned many things from that community and the Word of God Community, but, at the same time, came to realize that we were looking for something that we had not yet found. It was from that community that we became Anglicans and ended up going into mission work.
Among their best teachings were the “practical” teachings on living out the Christian life. And, one of the ones that we use to this day is the teaching on gossip. I will not try to reproduce it other than to say that the cartoon above is a good representation of the teaching received. You see, it is all too easy for Christians to hide a massive temptation to gossip and habit of gossiping by putting on a suitably pious face on the whole thing. As the cartoon shows, we often use a supposed concern for the fate of others as an excuse to share information which the other person has no right to know. We are not gossiping; we are asking for intercessory prayer; we are asking for the intercession of the saints. And, when we sin with our tongues with the other person, we claim that we are simply giving them the information that they need in order to intercede for the person about whom we are concerned.
And so, they gave us several guidelines to determine whether something we were sharing was gossip. Among them were:
- Did the person about whom you are talking give you permission to share their story and ask for prayer?
- Would you be embarrassed to repeat what you said in front of the person about whom you were talking?
- Does the person who is hearing the story have any authority to deal with the issue? They specifically said that you could not use intercessory prayer as an excuse to share. Though intercessory prayer changes things, in the realm of gossip it is all too often (over 90%) of the time an excuse to share inappropriately.
- Is what you are sharing going to diminish the reputation of the person about whom you are sharing?
There were one or two more guidelines, but you get the idea. So, what would I recommend when you hear an item you think you ought to share?
- Share all you want with Our Lord Jesus Christ. Express your concerns to Him in prayer, then leave the matter in His hands. However, be prepared for the idea that He may very well begin to work on YOU and maybe even call you to confession and repentance while leaving the other person alone!
- Share all you want with the saints in glory. They are with the Lord and purified of their sins. Ask them to intercede on behalf of the person about whom you are worried.
- Share cautiously with your priest (pastor). However, be prepared for the idea that if he is a good priest and wise that he may very well begin to work on YOU and maybe even call you to confession and repentance!
- Do not share with anyone else.
As I said, to this day I consider many of their practical teachings to be quite wise.
You see, it is all too easy for Christians to hide a massive temptation to gossip and habit of gossiping by putting on a suitably pious face on the whole thing.
Sometimes I wonder if among Christians there’s this 11th Commandment of “Thou Shalt Gossip”. It’s THAT common, almost like Gossip is the Eighth Cardinal Virtue or something. I’ve been nailed by this, and so has my writing partner.
Oh the gossip that hides under the virtue of Christian Sharing or Praying for the Suffering or Caring for the Sinner!! When one goes about this Christian sharing, one must look purer than the driven snow, humble as humble can be and pious–very pious. One must have one’s prayer rope in hand as one makes the sign of the cross and says Lord Have Mercy. It would add to the pious look that must be sought. Then if at church, lighting a candle and saying a lengthy prayer would also add to the moment.
When I am completely honest with myself, I realize that I have been guilty of such strategy myself. Sometimes it is with the purest of motives but not with the wisest of judgement, but at other times, it is digging for dirt. I can justify it as needing to KNOW so I CAN HELP, but really quite often it is just being nosy. At my very best, I work hard to avoid it and at my weakest, I crave to know all the dirty details.
I love the guidelines, Father, and plan to save them and the recommendations where I can find them when I relapse into “LOVING CHRISTIAN SHARING.”
Alix
Very good, Father! I’ve posted a link to it on my blog.
I was also interested in your mention of covenant communities. I’m writing a history of the charismatic renewal movement in Southern Africa, and among Roman Catholics, especially, it seems to have been linked to communitarian ideals. There is also a revival of interest in such things among Protestants, in what is called “the new monasticism”.
I have a few questions about such things, such as whether there were any links at all between these covenant communities and the Catholic Worker movement, or other semi-monastic communities like The Grail. Perhaps it would be better to follow up by e-mail, as it is a bit tangential to the topic of fasting.