Today I had one of those sad duties that priests have to do every so often. I was present in a courtroom to watch someone being sentenced to one year and one day in jail after violating his probation. He is forty-some years old and I was sitting next to his 75 year old mother. A year ago I officiated at the funeral of his father. This past Sunday I officiated at the one-year memorial service of the death of his father. I listened to all the official phrases from the judge and it became obvious that our requests for mercy would not be met. And, at the end, he received a sentence of a year and a day. That makes it a felony sentence.
Afterwards I had to comfort his 75 year old mother and listen to her as she felt ever so alone. She has other children in other states, but here she is alone. And so, emotionally, she has lost a husband and a son within the space of a year.
There is no doubt that he merited the sentence. He has 36 misdemeanor convictions and two “lighter” felony convictions. He did violate parole. None of his convictions were for violent crimes, every one of his convictions is for being a drug addict. He has never sold. His two felony convictions were when he was caught with amounts of cocaine over the maximum limit for personal use. No, I am not going to argue that the judge should have gone lighter on him. His probation violation was for Driving Under the Influence (DUI). And, as we all know, a DUI person can kill other people. I would not relish having to explain to someone’s mother why their child should have died as a result of an uncontrolled addiction.
And yet I felt this ache in my heart. Here was this mother asking me what she had done wrong. Here was this hurting woman who had lost her husband and now, temporarily, her son. And, I do wish that our country had ways to send addicts to treatment centers rather than to criminal prison. But, we also cannot let people drive under the influence. No, there are no easy solutions here. But, I still feel an ache in my heart.
Perhaps this is but a small taste of what God speaks of when he says in Hosea that he would that his people would return to him. In the New Testament Jesus says to Capernaum how often he would have sheltered them as a hen shelters her chicks under her wings. You can hear the ache in his voice as he says that. Yes, discipline and punishment may be necessary, but we should never rejoice in it.
I’m sorry to hear that. She’s definitely in a tough position, and my heart goes out to her just like yours does. And although using illegal drugs is a crime, prison just doesn’t seem like the best place to reform him. =(
This is indeed tragic, as is all such addiction and its consequences. Let us pray that this man will encounter and embrace AA and/or NA while in prison.
Father Ernesto,
This hits very close to home. A mother in our church made an incredibly horrible, sinful decision. She acted on a very human (read: our old nature of sin) impulse of passion. But it was not just infidelity to her family and Lord. It was a crime.
She was caught infligrante. She confessed, pled, and was sentenced to 18 months in jail. She is repentent. She is horribly grieved. She makes no excuses and offers no pyschobabel rationale for her actions. She has sinned and goes to her place of penitence guilty but forgiven. But there are imeasurably severe consequences for her actions.
She leaves on the outside a loving and forgiving husband. She has lost two foster children who were under her care. Her own children are now without a mother. Her church family has lost a friend for a time. A million little pieces, I think, is the title of that fraudulent memoir, but which accurately capture the detritus left in the wake of sin.
May God have mercy on me, a sinner.