And, sometimes the penny drops

I had one of those, “the penny dropped,” experiences this morning. This morning before the Divine Liturgy, I was frustrated because of an interaction yesterday with a fellow priest in another state. It had to do with matters from at least four years ago. I had obviously been carrying it about because when the proistamenos (the priest in charge of the parish) asked me how things were going, I told him about my interactions with that priest, my frustrations with that interaction, etc. The Assistant Priest and the Deacon were present and also listening. Both the proistamenos and the assistant said that they knew that priest and that he was known to be a little grumpy and less than socially adept in some of his interactions. It was at this time that I realized how strongly I had reacted myself.

I said as much out loud and that I thought that I probably needed to confess this, as I was responding inappropriately to what should not have touched me that hard. That is when the penny dropped. All of a sudden, I realized that I had two priests and a deacon looking at me. The proistamenos quietly said, “You just did.” The assistant priest commented about how Saint John of Kronstadt (1829-1908) had instituted public confessions because so many came to confess as a result of his teaching and his pastoral care. It is said:

By the 1890’s so many people flocked to him for Confession that Father John instituted the radical practice of group, public confessions. Accounts of those mass confessions speak of thousands of people crowded into the Cathedral around Father John who weeping would speak to the people and lead the prayers of Confession. The crowd of penitents too would be weeping, screaming, shouting out their sins in repentance, falling prostrate on the floor. It is recorded that such public Confessions would go on for two or more hours.

The proistamenos quietly looked at me and said, “Let’s go to the altar.” So, he and I walked to the altar and he gave me absolution after my public confession. Afterward, we continued with Morning Prayer (Orthros) and when that was finished we began the Divine Liturgy. And, yes, God was quite present, and I felt quite clean.

You just never know what the Holy Spirit is going to do.