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Kent State anniversary

5 May 2009 · by  Fr. Ernesto Leave a Comment

Ohio — Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

Tin soldiers and Nixon’s comin’.
We’re finally on our own.
This summer I hear the drummin’.
Four dead in Ohio.

Gotta get down to it.
Soldiers are gunning us down.
Should have been done long ago.
What if you knew her and
Found her dead on the ground?
How can you run when you know?

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.

Gotta get down to it.
Soldiers are cutting us down.
Should have been done long ago.
What if you knew her and
Found her dead on the ground?
How can you run when you know?

Tin soldiers and Nixon’s comin’.
We’re finally on our own.
This summer I hear the drummin’.
Four dead in Ohio.
Four dead in Ohio.
Four dead in Ohio.
Four dead in Ohio.
Four dead in Ohio.
Four dead in Ohio.
Four dead in Ohio.
Four dead in Ohio.
Four dead in Ohio.
Four dead in Ohio.

Yes, I am a true baby boomer. Yesterday was the anniversary of the Kent State killings on May 4, 1970. I was in my first year of college in Ohio, 1969-1970. At that time, the Viet Nam conflict had become very unpopular. It was near the end of my first year, a very bad first year. I had not yet returned to the Lord, and I was in a very bad way. I did not fit in at college and I had not fit in at high school. I did not study and felt directionless. Then the news of Kent State boomed across our campus. Many of us went out and demonstrated. Our campus shut down. I can remember watching Walter Cronkite and the map that showed all the colleges that had shut down across the USA. It was a horrid time in this nation. And, at the end of that month, I was expelled from college.

A year later I was drafted and in June of 1971 I entered the USA Army. I can remember that on my last day I talked to a friend and got teary-eyed. I tried to say indirectly what I wanted in case I were not to return. But, that year had been a year of positive change. I had asked the Lord back into my life in the fall of 1970, about three months after an overdose. The person who reached out to me is now Archpriest Gordon Walker. At that time, he was a Southern Baptist ordained pastor who had served many years in Campus Crusade for Christ. But, I was still a very young Christian heading off without knowing to where he was heading.

As it happened, I was not sent to Viet Nam. Over a year later, I remember watching Nixon’s speech about peace with honor in my barracks, along with my fellow soldiers. We had some uncomplimentary things to say. Ok, ok, I will admit it, a lot of four letter words were flying around. Several years later, I can remember going to the Viet Nam Memorial to search for the name of a friend of mine who had been sent to Viet Nam. We lost touch, but I was so glad to see that his name was not on the Wall. By then I had gone to seminary and received a Master’s degree, thanks to the G.I. Bill. [In passing, after the Army I got my Bachelor’s degree from Kent State University.] I got teary-eyed as I looked at the wall, and a couple of Scriptures from the Book of Revelation came to my mind. As I left, a veteran said, “Welcome home” and despite the fact that I had not been to Viet Nam, I felt a great sense of relief. It says something about the stress that American young men were under during those years that his words struck me so hard.

I ended up becoming a missionary and being in a couple of “unsafe” situations during my time of service. In fact, the only time I was tear-gassed in a hostile environment happened as a missionary. The only time I was “accidentally” locked in jail was as a missionary. And, yet, I do not remember my missionary time with the same emotions as those with which I remember that first year of college and my Army service.

And, every year, on May 4, I remember the Kent State University killings with a lump in my throat. It does not make sense. I was not at Kent State University during the killings, only years later. I never went to Viet Nam. And, yet, those years still have the power to move me. And, somehow, Kent State University in 1970 has become emblematic in my life of lost youth and lost idealism, which is funny because I am still quite an idealist.

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